I Know Too Much

Elizabeth Scalia, a Catholic blogger over at Patheos.com, recently called all Catholic writers and bloggers to explain why they are and plan to remain Catholic.  I am answering that call in this post. 

I initially found it very difficult, however, to figure out how to write my response, not because I do not know the reasons for my faith, but because I never put it down into words for others before; I have kept those reasons to myself without even thinking of how they might benefit somebody else who wishes to understand the Catholic faith more, or even just to get to know me more.  Thus I feel that, in order to explain why I remain a Catholic today, I must explain a bit about my growth through my faith, making this both an answer to Elizabeth's call and a personal testimony as well.



I am a cradle Catholic, which to me is interesting in and of itself given my parents faith.  My father grew up a cradle Catholic as well, but did not practice the faith that much.  My mother grew up a Presbyterian.  Yet it was my mother, who was a Methodist even after I was born, that deeply desired to raise me and any other children my parents had in the Catholic faith.  Thus my mother took the reigns in my Catholic upbringing despite not being Catholic herself...at first.

I was given Baptism shortly after birth, and attended CCD once a week (my younger sister did the same when she became older).  I found out later in life (because I do not have a memory of this) that the my mom was received into the Catholic Church long after I was baptized.  It turns out that her love for the Catholic faith eventually led her to desire for herself what she wanted her children to experience as well.  And all the while my dad, while not personally seeking to deepen his faith, supported his wife and children in our faith journey.  My mom's love for the faith and my dad's encouragement for us to follow it was, in hindsight, a big part of how I got to where I am now.

With this I received all of my Sacraments growing up and went to all of my CCD classes.  More often then not I did not particularly enjoy going because I did not like any sort of school in general, but I never questioned it; I knew it was important and I knew I needed to go. 

As I got older and got into high school I attended a youth group at my parish.  This was a big step in my journey towards God because it was here that I first developed really close relationships with deeply Catholic people outside of my immediate family.  From that stemmed a growth in my desire to know God more, especially when we did our annual retreats.  If my parents began my journey in my Catholic identity, I would say that it was this that cemented me in my desire to persist in that journey.

That being said, I was still far from having what I would consider to be a devout commitment to God and his Church; I would say that I became more  conscious of my relationship with God, but not completely.  I was still very much going through the motions a lot with my faith and involved in worldly and material things in a way that was very much neutral or detrimental to my relationship with God.

This changed when I went to college.

Ultimately it was my time spent at Ramapo College of New Jersey that led me to that level of spirituality where I try to seek God in everything that I do; it was also during this time that I sought more from my Catholic identity by seeking to know how to defend my faith, know why we believe what we believe, and know how I am to live as a Catholic man devoted to Christ.  I grew a lot in my knowledge of the faith, which God was clearly using to help me draw closer to Him.

There were 3 groups of people in particular, though, that sealed what few cracks may have remained in my devotion to my faith.  One was the Catholic group on Ramapo campus.  Friendships within that group helped strengthen my faith in an intellectual, prayerful, and practical way.

The second was the FOCUS missionaries that we had on campus through most of my college experience.  Having a mentorship with a couple of them in particular has led to a level of spiritual development that I would have otherwise not attained.  The personal accountability that we had with each other and all that I have learned from these warriors for Christ has been astronomical. 

The third was, ironically, in a Protestant non-denominational group called Intervarsity Christian Fellowship.  While they may not have set out to teach me about my Catholic faith, the people I met and befriended in IVCF have guided me in seeking a personal and heartfelt love for God above all others and all else, which up until this point of my life was not nearly as important to me. 

All of these, as well as more, have helped lead me to becoming the person and the Catholic follower of Christ that I am today.



So now we come back to the original question: Why do I remain a Catholic?  Everything that I mentioned above, my parents, CCD, the youth group, college, all of it and more is part of the reason, as anybody's life experiences help shape that person into who they currently are and who they will be.  But what is also always a part of that life experience are the daily choices that we make in responding to those experiences; events in one's life impact who we are to a degree, but we are always able to make a choice in how we handle them.  I could have chosen any number of responses in reaction to everything that came across my plate of life, but by the grace of God I chose the path that brings me closer to Him and His Church. 

So why, then?  Why did I, and on a daily basis continue to, make the choice to be and remain Catholic rather than one of a number of any other choices?

The answer boils down to one simple statement: it is the choice that makes the most sense; it is the only object of belief and faith that is and contains the full and complete truth.

Studying my own faith in detail as well as numerous other faiths and beliefs has led me to conclude that there is no other system of belief that is as unimpaired in its rightness and veracity then that of the Catholic Church.  Philosophy shows that God exists.  History shows that Jesus sacrificed himself for us and rose from the dead.  Scripture and Tradition show that Jesus established Peter and his successors as head of Jesus' Church here on earth, that he presents his body, blood, soul, and divinity to us in the Real Presence, that the Magisterium must be the interpretive authority in all matters of faith and morals, and so so much more. 

What all of this essentially boils down to is this: I know too much to not be Catholic.  There is an incredible amount of evidence that reveals that the Catholic Church is the spiritual home that Christ intended for all of humanity.  Christ's presence in all that is Catholic is just too obvious for me to ignore. 

This might appear to be too 'scientific' of an approach in determining what faith or belief to uphold, but to me there is nothing more beautiful then a faith that is complete in its truth and how that truth is discovered.  It is a necessary condition for the Church that Christ created: if the Christian worldview is correct then any faith that falls under the umbrella of that worldview that contains any amount of falsehood in its teachings cannot be fully united with God because God IS Truth in His very being. 

Catholicism does not fall prey to such a conundrum.  It is nothing less than the fulfillment of God's promise to lead us closer to Him.  I know that, both through what I have experienced and what I have learned. 

And that is why I remain, that is why I make my daily conversion to Christ and His One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.